You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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