you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
