Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
