The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
