i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
