if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we're so committed to being not committed
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
