i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
