he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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