it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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