I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
