I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
false alarm. still invincible.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
