The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
