He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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