do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
