She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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