No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
