just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
