Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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