I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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