The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
