Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
