Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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