none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
