i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
