She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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