Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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