I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
