The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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