he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
