Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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