She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
