Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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