You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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