I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
