Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
