the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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