Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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