she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
