so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish you could order shots online.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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