wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
