Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
