I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Drunk is not a location!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
