I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
