you traded sex for a burrito?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
These tits shall not be calmed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
