Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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