fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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