btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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