I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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