Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
