lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
