Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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