Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This is the high leading the old right now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
