West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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