May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The adults are the big ones right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
