Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
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