Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize