her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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