i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
