I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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