Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize