my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
